Greg Abbott
Governor of Texas
state
Still SeatedGreg Abbott is the Governor of Texas and one of the longest-serving Republican state executives in the country. He has built his governorship around conservative battles over immigration, abortion, guns, energy, and federal power, making Texas a permanent front line in national political theater. Abbott’s whole style is calm, lawyerly escalation — a man who can package deeply combative politics in the tone of someone reading a utility bill. On Yeeted or Seated, he is proof that you do not need to shout to keep the chaos machine fed, as long as you keep signing the paperwork.